My path has been varied, with significant twists, turns, and seemingly new directions. For me, it's always made sense and felt unified and connected, even with the unexpected "left" turns that perhaps surprised me, yet felt completely congruent with my inner experience.
The common thread? Seeking to understand why at an existential level, while finding my way to fulfill my mission and seeming purpose in this lifetime... to live and relate in such a way to bring to light the universality of compassion and connection, alleviate suffering and conflict, and promote peace and understanding at all levels.
It's the means that has shifted over the years... looking first at the physical suffering and disparity of the world, the environment, and all forms of life... then seeking to promote peace, justice and overcome conflict through understanding the ethics of international intervention, policy, and the need for accountability.
After getting burnt-out and feeling rather disillusioned with the external world, while very aware of the conflict in my own life and within myself, I sought my own healing and inward journey. Landing in Tucson, AZ I wanted to work in an environment that supported me in this process, so worked in a health food store, and while applying to work part-time at a local yoga studio, ended up in their massage school.
This began a re-integration and healing journey that continues to this day. A reconnecting to my physical body, emotions, and processing and releasing so much that had been repressed, supressed, and disallowed since infancy. While beginning to explore energy, intuition, wellbeing, and continuing to question it all, I found myself further at odds with the state of the world, while finding
About my journey...
I've been on a quest most of my life to discover my purpose and live it fully.
It’s been a bit complicated, and I’ve come to realize that so much of what I thought was coming from within me and my independent process, actually has not been to the extent I thought.
I've discovered that my experience and decisions have been distorted by the energies and emotions of those around me, and the suffering in the world at large.
Yup. I'm empathic and highly intuitive. To the nth degree.
Meaning, I pick up on and process a lot of intuitive information, energies and emotions of not just those around me, but also the larger collective and universal energies and emotions at any given time. Yet, for most of my life, I wasn’t aware that my experience was being filtered through all of this, on top of the typical family and social conditioning we all navigate.
Even when I thought I was living my truth, acting independently and carving my own path, I was often still under the influence.
Taking on as mine the emotions, pain, guilt and misplaced responsibility for situations that left me living in perpetual shame, fatigue, and overwhelm. Leaving me questioning my intuition, not fully trusting myself or my experience, and in a constant state of stress, overwhelm, and confusion.
See, the thing is, I know I have a lot to share with the world. I’ve felt that I was here to serve in some way since I was little.
Every chosen path has felt like a left turn of sorts… a shift in an unexpected direction, going against the mainstream flow or even my own initial expectations. Always seeking the highest path of service and in alignment with my truth (not that I used those terms until recently).
However, often at odds with the world, or depleted by processing so much for everyone around me, getting weighed down, struggling to connect with my truth, in relationship, and live a balanced life of purpose in an enjoyable state of being, made life extremely painful and challenging to harmonize with the universal flow and align with my own unique expression and highest possibilities.
Feeling “other” for much of my life and always aware of the amazing possibilities for each of us and the world at large, left me feeling at odds with myself much of the time.
For, my inner knowing didn't seem to help me make much headway in building my life, figuring out my work, and relating to the world as it is.
The beautiful part of it all is that my life has been and continues to be a glorious tapestry of experiences, relationships, adventures, and learning, that feels like I’m getting an on-the-ground higher education in being human, all that it means to be alive, and that there is so much support available to us, as we learn to become empowered beings living this human experience.
The journey doesn’t end towards alignment, greater empowerment, compassion and joy, as each moment carries in it infinite possibilities and the stillness that always is.
Cultivating our inner experience, strengthening our own energies and presence of being, and cultivating our outer expression and environment all blends together to support us in creating a higher, more conscious and compassionate state of being. This, in turn, can’t help but shift the world at large.
Would you like to journey forward with me towards coming into greater alignment with who you are, opening to the possibilities, and existing at a higher emotional energetic state?
Would you like to separate out those external influences and at the least, begin to learn what may be influencing you and the ways you can shift your experience and strengthen the integrity of your own energy and emotional state, learning to trust yourself and your experience, that ultimately only you can truly know?